Can you compliment someone too much?
I recently read an article about compliments and comments online. The author mentioned that she did not receive as many comments on her blog as she used to and wondered if others felt the same.
I think most of us realize who reads our posts, many of us have trackers, some check their stats and some even have comments disabled. About 10% of my blog visitors leave a comment and it is nice to communicate with them. I receive genuine comments, emails and Direct Messages on my Social Media and it is rewarding to build these relationships. So many are kind and genuine and brighten my day!
The article went on to discuss comments and when they become disingenuous! These are some interesting points she made:
The too-frequent compliment
By giving nonstop compliments, you seem insincere, and even if you genuinely feel this way, it would be best to keep some of those words of admiration to yourself. Also, the downside of giving too many compliments is that people come to expect them from you. It can also be exhausting on the receiving end.
Make your compliment genuine
Compliments and comments on social media can easily veer into flattery and feel hollow and artificial, leaving the recipient wondering about the giver’s hidden agenda. The more compliments you give, the less they mean! And she stressed that it is not necessary to comment back to a comment left. Many people use this tactic on FaceBook so that their posts are brought back up to the top of everyone's feed, that is why you sometimes see the same post, over and over and over again! A simple "like" can acknowledge the compliment.
Don't bring the compliment back to YOU
There is a type of compliment that a person gives, and it always brings it back to themself, for instance “I love your chair. I have one that I adore and everyone loves. It has the prettiest fabric and is so comfy. It is the first chair that my guest go to when they visit” ……..some people don’t realize how they can hijack a compliment and make sure it ends up being about them! The envious compliment is even more troubling: "Oh, I have to have one of those, too, where did you get it??"
It can be construed as selfish and double-dealing!
We all like to be acknowledged, but when does it become unreal?
Not every post, photograph, idea or craft needs to be acknowledged, especially when you see the same post on Instagram, Facebook and on a blog. Think about WHY you are commenting and complimenting, ask yourself if it is about you or the person you are addressing, don't overdo it, and be genuine.
All of her points gave me some 'food for thought". She ended by saying "some people do not need a lot of attention, they post ideas and pictures just for the pure pleasure of sharing and for others to enjoy!"
Any thoughts from you?
I have to say I'm one that doesn't usually post on blogs but I do look and read and am very thankful that those who blog do so!!! I love looking and reading and getting ideas. I hope all of you realize that just because you might not get any comments that people aren't enjoying what you do. We do it's just that we don't take the time to comment. I will try to do better!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat article. The fake or insincere comments are what keeps me away from Facebook, I find people are getting more and more wrapped up in themselves, egocentric and fake...
ReplyDeleteYou know I agree Patti!
ReplyDeleteI used to feel that a blogger spends a lot of time and effort to post something pretty so I should always comment. My comments are real. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of the above - sometimes I don't comment, for whatever reason, but I only follow bloggers I find interesting. When I do comment, it is sincere. I don't get the over the top gushing over certain blog posts. I don't think the majority of bloggers are trying to make everyone happy and it isn't necessary to use all caps and exclamation points for comments on every. blog. post. you. read.
ReplyDeleteI could never get exhausted from compliments! I meant that exclamation point Lol. I only leave genuine complimentary comments.
ReplyDeletetruer words never spoken! I'm in the category...never say something unless you truly mean it and want to bless someone else ... an insecure compliment is not nice. and most people see straight thru them!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good post!
ReplyDeletewonderful post Patti. Commenting is interesting. We have some who never comment, they just browser through the photos. There are some that copy and paste. They must feel like they are doing their part, however I feel it is not sincere. . I hope you are enjoying the weekend. I am looking into your creative cocktails, as I want something different. Thanks for sharing the recipes.
ReplyDeleteWhat an intriguing post. There's a lot of meat here and I'm glad you shared it -- good food for thought. I try to comment on most of the blogs I read because I know what goes into them. Sometimes I don't always have time to visit or comment, but I do try. I refuse to not be sincere. I'm in the blog world because the relationships matter to me so to be dishonest would be counterproductive. If the post calls for it, I try to be constructive. It seems instagram and FB are the worst but that most bloggers spend the time on a post because they go to it, not seeing it scroll by as it comes to them.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason I fail to comment is that my comments never seem to appear when attempted from my iPad, and that is my main source. When I'm on my desktop (as I am now), I tend to comment as much as possible so that people know I'm interested in their content. I would never think of leaving a fake or insincere comment on any form of media. What is the point in that?
ReplyDelete